When the Yankees just recently clinched the AL East I was excited! After missing the playoffs last year, it feels great to have something to root for in October. When Rivera got the last out, by sweeping the Red Sox, I did the only thing that felt natural to me. I thought about calling my grandfather to talk about it. When I realized I couldn't, an empty feeling came through me. He passed away in the summer of 2008. I guess not having the Yankees in the playoffs last year made that time of year just float by. When I realized this will be the first Yankee playoffs that I will not watch with him I became really upset. I wanted to write about it, but it was just too hard. Now, as I get ready for day one of the 2009 ALDS, I decided I wanted to put some words down. Just a few, to show why I love this game.
As a kid I liked baseball, but for some reason or another I got out of following it through my teenage years. I always liked the Yankees. My grandfather watched them everyday. But I was just too busy when I was young to sit and watch a game or dedicate my time to follow them. Too busy with not so positive things. In 1995, I made a decision to change my life and my ways. I had decided to get clean from my destructive lifestyle. It was the toughest time of my life, and felt insanely isolated and alone. I would sit around all day waiting for a meeting at night with nothing but me and my thoughts... and that is never a good thing. I was doing good, but it was hard.
One day in the summer I was sitting on my mothers back porch smoking a cigarette. I was not in a good frame of mind. Back then I never let anyone in. I would just isolate, but with a good game face on. My grandfather saw me out there and said in his usual style, "A, U, Whattaya doin?". "Nothing", I said. He told me that the game was on and asked me if I wanted to watch it. I took him up on the offer. He ordered us cheese steaks and we watched the game together. I don't remember if the Yankees won or lost that day. What I do remember is that it got me out of my head. It was the first time in months that I felt OK. Even if just for a few hours.
This brought about a new addiction... to baseball. It kept me out of my head and focused on something other than myself. But best of all it created a relationship with my Grandfather that was amazing. We would watch so many games together, from regular season to playoffs. I remember being with him when Charlie Hayes caught the last out in '96. When they lost to the Indians the following year. How we thought this would last forever '98-'00. How we both felt like someone died in 2001. How we both jumped up out of our seats hugging each other and jumping up and down as if we won the game, when Aaron Boone hit the walk off against the Red Sox in Game 7. All the wins, all the losses, all the excitement. He was my best friend. He supported me in my toughest time, and did the best thing to keep me clean without even knowing it... he got me addicted to loving baseball again. I miss him everyday, and will miss him during this and every baseball season. I could go on forever with this story, but I think you get the idea. This is why I love baseball.
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