The insomnia I have been experiencing seriously sucks. It makes me exhausted all day and I cant wait to get home. I think I will sleep because I have been dragging my ass all day. But when I get home... nothing. I just lay in bed thinking. I think way too much. I think I might think myself into a brain aneurysm one night... I think.
Then I try to get the computer to make me tired and it does. So I roll to bed and nothing. I figure I will try a book, but then I pick a book that makes me think about other shit. So, I put the book away and figure I will watch TV. I'll put on something that sucks so bad that I cant help but fall asleep. So I find some infomercial with some tube that cooks pasta and vegetables with hot steam instantly. It looks cool, but I feel that it would be an insult to my Italian Grandmother if I even thought about using it. You see, I cant even stop thinking about stupid shit like that.
But after the infomercial repeats itself for the 3rd time, I start to get bored and tired. As my eyes close and I finally start to dose off, I hear a commercial for a home defibrillator. Now my hypochondria sets in, and I need one. I am actually listening to my heart beat. I'm wondering if it will stop. Now I know I'm not getting any sleep. I keep looking at the alarm clock and calculating how much sleep I will get if I fall asleep at that moment. My hypochondria has now reinforced my insomnia and now I'm thinking way to damn much. Because now if I have a heart attack, I don't have a home defibrillator, and I still have a lot I want to do with my life. I'm tired... tired of thinking.... tired of not sleeping... tired of being tired. I thought blogging would work, but it has not. Because now I'm thinking what you will think when you read this blog. I'm such a mess. Can anyone relate?
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